Friends are friends forever?

Not. You only think you are. A person can turn on you in the blink of an eye (or the vibrate of a text message). Its so hard to really trust someone, much less have a "best friend". You give everything you have. Your past, your present, and what you think will be your future...

...But that's not enough. You refuse to mold yourself to fit into the tiny space they have in their heart for you. Its quite cramped, really. Yeah, I've been there. It shrinks over time. If you want to stay there, it means leaving anything you care about at the door. There's no room for any of that.

So since you can't give enough, they ditch you for someone "better". Again, again, again. You put up with it. Let it go. Move on. Its water under the bridge, right? Right...

Then the day comes. The day when you just can't take it another second and it all explodes. Things hit the fan.

So, having given this person everything you have, you just can't take being ditched another day. You have not more fake sympathy, no more half-hearted smiles. You bring the problem up to this person.

It explodes in your face, and you lose everything you thought was "friendship".

So you see... You can give someone 3 years of your life, and they'll throw it all away for a boy. A stupid boy. A boy you try to warn her about. A boy you know will only hurt her in the long run. Does she listen? Well, of course not. Because while you have been giving and giving all this time, she has only been taking. Taking your energy, taking your dignity, and taking you for granted. There is no give on her part.

There is only room in her heart for one person now; herself.

You know you have done nothing wrong...

So why do you feel so awful?



-Shannon

Atheism.

Its totally, 100%, completely the easy way out.

Oh yeah, just say "There is no God, no higher power, no consequences for my actions. I can do whatever the heck I want." Yep... Not many things go down to that level of shallow-ness.

I just don't understand how someone can go out at night and look up at all those stars in the sky, and say that there is no God. That those stars weren't created by Him. Its totally ludacris, and I do NOT mean the rapper.

And you know what? Its the most comforting thing to know that when I die, I'm going to the most amazing place imaginable. Its really too great for the human mind to comprehend. I get lost thinking about it. I'm not going to hell, and I'm not just going to have nothing after I die. Everything I do in this life has a deeper meaning, and I know what that meaning is. I don't have to spend the whole time wondering. I'm certain.

So I just don't see how atheists do it. There is no God? Well, what is there then? What is life?

Evolution? Ha. I actually laughed, typing that. As much as I love monkeys, I don't want to be RELATED to them. That's pushing it, a little.


-Shannon

For those of you who are "hardcore"

Just stop. You're not impressing anyone. Don't ruin your teenage years by trying to be a stupid little rocker chick\guy. Okay, you like rock music. Okay, you have an attitude problem. But do you have to advertise it? Come on, really. You grew up in the suburbs. Nobody feels sorry for you. A lot of the emo rockfan people claim to have the hardest lives with parents who just hate them sooo much... But you know... Most of the people who actually had\have hard lives are dealing with them, moving on, being happy. You should learn from them. By being a stupid little punk, all you're doing is giving yourself an excuse to be a smart-alec. Does that sound hardcore? No. That just sounds selfish. I have nothing against it being a style, as long as you don't take it overboard. But one thing I cannot stand is when people turn it into a state of mind. Think about it... Which is easier? To sulk, get attention from people, and not make any attempt to do anything about the situation that is making you sooo "miserable"? Or, to confront the problem head on, deal with it, get over it, take the time to do whatever it takes to make yourself happy? I'm thinking it isn't the latter. So, really, you aren't hardcore. You're taking the easy way out. Its easier to hate life and everyone in it. That's a simple, easy way to get attention and run away from your problems. Think about it.


-Shannz O(.-.)O

Me

Let me just clear something up, here. My current goal in life is to have a goal in life. I don't know what I want to do. The first step in figuring that part out, I think, is to figure out who I am and who I want to be in the future. Do I want to be a plastic barbie? Heh, I think not. Do I want to be an arrogant moron? That's a definite no. Honestly... The only thing I know at this point is what\who I don't want to be. Yeah, I know what my strengths are. I know what my weaknesses are. I know how I think, how my mind works... Sometimes at least. I can have these extremely deep thoughts, then when I want to write them down? My mind goes off into a million directions. It drives me insane but I know it also, in a way, is what fuels my creativity. A blessing and a curse? I have yet to figure that out. I'm figuring out what the most fulfilling things in my life are. I'm figuring out what I should cherish and what I should kick to the curb. I suppose I'm just... Finding that what I'm made of is stronger than I previously thought. And that I can simply say no to people and it won't completely devestate them or make something awkward (or awk-rawd as Dustin says). Life isn't me, life isn't you, but life might be us...



I love that moment of complete happiness you get sometimes. With a groupd of close friends, with your family, or both. Doing something you love, experiencing something that's just for yourself. Not worrying about anything else. Like for instance, when its at your favorite part of a really happy song. When you just want to get up and dance and sing into a hair brush, no matter who is looking. I don't live for it, but I'm addicted to it. Pure joy. That's the moment when nothing matters. People still look at you like you're crazy, but that doesn't seem to matter anymore. Their judgements are shut out of your mind, and you just do whatever you want. You want to share it with everyone somehow, you want to wear a banner on your head that says "I'M HAPPY!"


I love my family. My mom: the biggest inspiration in my life. She shows me, no matter what happens to me, life goes on. I will be happy. I will find the love of my life. I could have the worst day possible, I could feel yucky and sick and have frizzy hair and no makeup on but she makes me feel on top of the world. My dad: He's just a big kid at heart. He always makes me laugh, just by doing the smallest things. He's so much fun to be around and I love him to death. My brother: Larger than life. The guy all my friends have crushes on. The guy who has a lot of friends. The guy with awesome hair. The guy I look up to. He shows me that hard work is the best way to earn respect from people. I love him.


I love my friends. Dustin: YOUUUU!!! He is, hands down, the funniest person I know. Guy or girl. He makes me laugh harder than any of my other friends. He can be serious too. He cheers me up when I'm sad, he respects me, he's my BESSSSSSSSST FRIIIIIIIIIEND. AND I LOVVVVVVVE HIMMMMMMMM (sorry, that's a song). We've been best friends since October, I think. I don't know what I'd do without him. Noah: Well, well. We've had some rough spots in our relationship now haven't we? You breaking up with me? ...Twice? But that's beside the point. Through it all, you've been an amazing friend. And now, you're more like a brother. I really do love you (not in that way), and I wish you well. I hope you have the great life you deserve. And you need to call me dangit! Amanda (a.k.a Mander): MANDER YOU ROCK!!! I love you I love you I love you xD you're so funny. You're one of the only girls that I think is a lot like me. We just click, we get along realllllllly well. ILY. xD


I love Aaron. Since we've been together I really have been happier. He's the sweetest, most adorable guy I know. He doesn't try to be anyone else. He's totally real. That's something you don't find often. When I say I love him, I don't say it just because every other couple does. I say it because I feel it. He's so patient. And down to earth. I love every little thing about him. He's so completely honest with me, but he isn't mean at all... Ah, he's just so amazing. No words can describe him. He's my cookie monster!


I love life. :]


And I love figuring myself out. I really do. Its a new adventure every day. I find something new out about myself all the time. I'll never have myself figured out, because I'm constantly changing. And that... Is a beautiful thing.


I'm not trying to be deep, I'm not trying to be poetic. I'm not trying to be an angst-tastic teenager full of issues. I'm just saying what's on my mind today. Got a problem with it? Well, that's super-dee-duper! Read something else.


-Shannz

O(.-.)O

How I survived Club Congress, '08.

So Club Congress '08... My first year. Talk about intimidating. Maybe if I didn't have an older sibling whom lots of people know, it wouldn't be as bad. Oh well. I survived! Because of a number of reasons. First, I DIDN'T LOSE MY KEY. Yes, a small key to your dorm room. If you lose it, you're, put simply... Screwed. $75 dollars to replace it. WH-WH-WHAAAT?!? If I could charge $75 every time someone lost a key, I'd go into their rooms and steal them at night! Get caught? Blame it on the person across the hall from them! Simple as that, my friends. Or maybe it isn't simple. Maybe I just have the mind of a criminal. But that's beside the point. Back to the point I was making before I started plotting the demise of first-year kids. Oh, right. Second reason I survived and did not die... Err... Have a breakdown: I was not shy. I can't imagine how it was for shy kids. Because you had to talk to people. You had to ask directions, instructions, clarify where you were supposed to be at what time. So if you were shy and didn't want to, I can imagine how tough that would be. A few years ago I wouldn't have been very well off at Congress, but since I've come out of my shell a bit, I was quite at home. The third reason why I survived: I got Miss Lanette to drive me everywhere! I didn't take the buses that they offered. Of course this was a bit of a mistake when she dropped me off in front of the Union and basically said "You're on your own now". I then proceeded to enter the wrong building, walk up 2 flights of stairs, go into some random person's office, and get assisted to the next building over, where I was SUPPOSED to be. I swear, they see you're wearing the 4-H name tag, they see you're young, and they automatically say "You're lost aren't you?" ...Or maybe it was the lost, scared, dazed, confused look on my face. Either way, MSU people are definitely friendly!


That's about it for now!

-Shannz

O( '-' )O

Why Youtube = Satan.

I used to hate Myspace, yes. But those days are over. I have seen the light! And well, my friend Kira basically forced me to create one, but that abuse---err, friendship, is behind me now. Now I'm on to bigger and better things, deeper, more passionate hate! Yes, my friends... I speak of none other than...


YOUTUBE!!2!#!1


Where you can do a variety of suck-tastic things! The opportunities are... Err, quite limited if you have dial-up, but I digress. So umm yeah, here are some reasons why Youtube makes me want to set something on fire and yell BURN BABY, BURRRRN.



#1: Spoilers. Yeah, they have them. In the middle of videos, all of the sudden, something pops up... "DUMBLEDORE DIEZ!!!!!!!!" And you're like...wow, did I want to know that? No.


#2: People who comment videos trying to be a smart-alec. YES I KNOW I AM ONE AS WELL, don't judge me. As I was saying, people try to act smart and clever. Once I was watching a video from a Relient k concert that someone had taken on their phone, and they were singing along with the music. Off-key and horribly, of course, because well... Its a live concert. Its loud. You can't hear yourself think, much less *sing*. And some IDIOT decided to comment it and say "That girl is singing off-key." ....................Are you stupid? Do you have a mental disability? Did someone drop you on your head when you were little? If not, I can do it now for only 10 easy payments of $19.95.


#3: Ur moma.



#4: There are two kinds of people on Youtube. Yep... There are the smart-alecs as mentioned previously, and the total morons, who accept this fact and turn it into an art. People who say things like

"LMaOO HE RAN iNTO DA WALL1!

-HARDCORE SK8ER"

Yeah... I don't think that takes much more explainin'. I'm not Lucy.


#5: It is addictive to some people. And well, come on, that's never good. When you have instant access to a loooaaad of fad-tastic videos, you're going to watch more and more and more. More stupid stunts and more random guys from somewhere like, Oklahoma, who will become famous because they can do Soulja Boy on a trampoline while doing a hand stand or something. I pity them foolz.


K so, I'm done now. Until like 5 minutes from now when I post another thing.

-Shannz

Monkeyz are srsly cute.

My nicknames.

I realized... I've been called many things. I'm going to list them here. I actually think its pretty cool.


Fred.
Llama.
Froggie.
Shannz.
Roachie.
Shanshan.
Carrot top.
French fry with ketchup.
Shanny-poo.
Tinkerbell. (don't ask.)
Pebbles.


That's all I think. xD

-Shannz.

I<3umonkehz

Drama.

I hate drama so much. I'm serious. I mean really, is it worth it? Do you have to talk about everyone? Do you have to waste your time talking about someone close to you? Why do the girls I know waste their time on other girls that talk about them behind their backs? Come on, after someone calls you a "bad name" behind your back like 12 times, you should learn your lesson. But no... they just go back to them over and over. Which brings me to my biggest point: girls like it. They like the drama. They like feeling like a victim when another girl talks about them. They want you to call them a "bad name". Because then they can talk about YOU without feeling guilty. Then you do the same to them. Its a vicious cycle. And a pitiful one, also. If you're that desperate for attention, get a mohawk. That's a real conversation-starter. Sure, it might scare off all your friends, but its sure as heck better than HURTING THEM REPEATEDLY. Think about it.

-Shannz.

monkyz4lyf

Best quotes.

The best quotes I've ever heard. Funny, serious, songs, whatever.


Songs:

"Everything I gave you, I want everything back but you." - Avril Lavigne, "Everything Back But you"

"Its easier to be sure you love someone when her father inquires with the barrel of a gun." - Relient k, "Deathbed"

"Oh its such a drag, what a chore, oh your wounds are full of salt. Everything's a stress, and what's more, well its all somebody's fault." - OK Go, "Get Over It"

"You're a broken wing, not a broken thing." - Thousand Foot Krutch, "Broken Wing"

"I feel so much better now that you're gone forever." - Three Days Grace, "Gone Forever"

"Should I start this song off with a question?" - Relient k, "The Rest is Up to You"

"This speech is merely words. Its even worse because it rhymes." - Relient k, "The Rest is Up to You"

Just stupid people (including myself):

"There was a little froggy, fell in love with a doggy, but the doggy ate the froggy and now the froggy's DEAD." - Me.

"...And I'm Jesus." - Dustin.

"*insert anything Bruce Williams said here*" - Bruce Williams.

"You big stupid!" - Kristen.

"On your tombstone we're going to put 'Leave me alone.'" - Faithy-poo.

"WE HAD MOONSHINE." - Hope. I don't know why that was so funny, but it was.


Hsu and Chan:

"Arnie, if you spilled coffee on the sofa again, I'm getting the bat. You were warned about this."

"We need something that looks vaguely like a Pokemon, stat!!!"

"'My bones are stained with the blood of the damned.' '...I noticed. Stay off the sofa.'"

"Cocroaches put computer chips in my brain!"